Divorce was final in July. I just found out that my X husband is getting married again in May to someone that is 26 years younger than he is.
I cannot seem to let this go. That is kinda like robbing the cradle, don't you think? Our children do not agree with their Dad's lifestyle with this younger person, but he seems to not care.
Can you help me get over this shock.....found out that he was dating her while we were married....my life is a mess....help......:)
Old School
Dear Old School,
I completely understand why you would be shocked and hurt by this news. But since there isn't anything you can do to make things (past or present) different, it might be best to employ what I call The Ignore Technique.
The Ignore Technique works for almost any situation. It's basically putting something out of your mind.
I don't know if it's a saying or not, but my mother used to say, "You forget because you want to forget."
Of course, she was referring to my homework or my unmade bed, but I learned a different lesson from my mother's words.
I learned that when something is really important to us, we remember it, no matter how busy or preoccupied we are.
You are going to have to decide that your ex is not important to you anymore. You have to put him and the past hurts out of your mind... employ The Ignore Technique!
In time you'll get good at it... maybe even too good. Wouldn't it be great if you got an alimony check and asked, "Wait, who's this from?"
Now, Old School, you might not be ready mentally or emotionally to utilize the full-blown Ignore Technique in expert fashion... as your situation is very emotionally charged.
So, if this is the case, might I suggest The Scarlet O'Hara Technique.
Every time you find yourself thinking about or wanting to think about your ex, say out-loud...