Conservations by an Old Fart

by Stacie H. Sylvia
(Kinston, aka Pergatory, NC)

My Grandfather "Honey" Hadley, aka Old Fart, known for various reasons including the obvious, would always would say, "When not in use, turn off the juice".

As a child I'd scamper from room to room making it as bright as I possibly could, because I was afraid of darkness. He'd follow me around flipping them right back off and get on me about wasting electricity. Shaking his finger viciously in my face "It costs money", he snarled.

My grand father grew up in the time of the great depression with an outhouse and no indoor plumbing, so he valued everything to the penny. He would scold me, "Stacie, always remember... when not in use turn off the juice," and he'd make me flip the light switches off. I did so, but always with a furrowed brow. I suppose he did drill it in my stubborn head because I find myself even today, repeating that to my own brood. Even if I do not say it out loud, I will say it in my head... and ya know what? It does save me money.

As for the ozone, I'm sure the "old fart" contributed to his share of those problems unknowingly in his era. My poor grandmother would follow him around with a can of air freshener. I guess that's where he also coined his expression, "you stink sweet". He would say this when he'd hug me. Boy, do I miss that Old Fart, stinks and all.

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