Keep Up! Relationships Q & A Random Humor Just for Kids
Don't confuse forgiveness and trust
by Paul
(Minnesota)
Don't confuse forgiveness and trust. Forgiveness is something that I have to do for myself. I need to let go. If I hold on to what the other person has done to me, the debt they owe me, I become bitter.
Someone has said that bitterness is the poison I drink trying to hurt someone else. I have found that true. That doesn't mean I have to or should trust that person. That would be stupid.
That is very true. I not only suffered abuse from my mother as a child, but every time, that I made the mistake of "forgiving" her, (to her face) she tries something else. Mainly, putting me down, and stomping my self worth, while building up her own.
I am now 49yrs old & yet she stills does things, or says things to mentally, & emotionally torture me.
It took years of avoiding her to be able to live pain free.
I was told by psychologists & attorneys to forgive her (without telling her) but avoid her, & NEVER turn my back on her, just make an effort to think about all the good things in my life.
In other words, to live more of a "stress free" life, I remember to take her with a "grain of salt" & "not trust her". I do still have nightmares from it, but I no longer dwell on it. Life does go on!