future boyfriend?

by Lena
(Detroit,MI)

Dear Dr.Julia,

I am a 13 yr. old girl and really like boys a lot!! Recently, I have been dreaming about my best friend that I've known since I was 5.

I have dreamed that we would be the best and cutest couple in the 8th grade. I have dreamed that we did have a bit of intimacy now and again.

Does this mean that I am in love with him or is it just a crush?

Dear Lena,

I see no reason to discuss "love" and all that it truly means on a philosophical level with you at this time. After all, that's not your question.

You simply want to know, "Do I love this boy or is it more of a "like"?

Here are some of the fundamental differences between Love and Likes (or "crushes"). Let's take a look, shall we?

I Really Like Them!

They are the absolute cutest thing I've ever seen.

I want to see them and be with them everyday.

I could easily talk to them on the phone all night... literally.

I think about them

Talk about them

Dream about them

I get mad at them for silly reasons and forgive them for reasons even sillier.

I Really Love Them!

Chubby, bald and funny looking? Huh, I didn't even notice that.

I don't necessarily want to spend every waking moment with them, but it's nice to know they're always there when I need them.

I could easily talk to them on the phone a couple times a day just to remind them to pick up milk and eggs... and to swing by the dry cleaners on their way home.

I think about them (and the fact that they left the toilet seat up)

Talk about them (to my mother)

Dream about them (at least twice a year)

I get mad at them sometimes for very good reasons and forgive them for reasons just as good.

Actually, Lena, if you can't say these words,

"I take you, my love, to have and to hold from this day forward,

for better for worse,

for richer for poorer,

in sickness and in health,

to love and to cherish

till death us do part"

...and mean them from the bottom of your heart and the innermost places of your mind, then you probably just really like him. And that's all you need to do!

Stick to roller skating, movies, picnics, blushing, butterflies in the stomach, and all the fun stuff that goes along with liking a boy.

Oh yes, and one more thing. Always talk to your mother!

Sincerely,

Dr. Julia Chicken

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