Keep Up! Relationships Q & A Random Humor Just for Kids
why is my ex in my dream nearly every day when we split 4 years ago?
by Ash
(Brisbane)
Hi Julia,
I have gotten to a stage now where I am sick and tired of dreaming about my ex boyfriend.
We had a very different relationship. We did long distance for 2 years, traveled Australia for 1 year together, then moved to his home town in Nottingham for 1 year.
We split because we were young and wanted different things. My life has rocketed, I'm doing great with a very active life full of hobbies and working hard at my day job. I don't have a boyfriend.
After I left him it took me a few years to get over him. I haven't spoken to him in 3 years. He is getting married this year.
His and my life have completely moved on. I just don't understand why he keeps coming into my dreams.
Dreams like last night he was seeing me behind his fiance's back. Dreamed the other night that he and his fiance were sitting at desks in my work place as though they worked there.
Then I have dreams he and I are giggling and having fun, like friends. It's weird. I can't make sense of it.
It's like when I sleep he's in my life a lot. It's weird. I sent him a message on Facebook an hour ago to just say hey how are you. I probably won't hear from him, but I'm sitting anxiously hoping that I do.
Anything is better than nothing. Can you help me find out what the bottom line to all this is please?
I'm really looking forward to hearing from you,
Best regards, Ash
Dear Ash,
As I was reading your letter, I was thinking just how deep we would have to delve into your subconscious to find the cause of your dreams.....
until I got to the end.
You haven't "moved on" one iota.
You look at your life and think, Why, I couldn't be more on the ball! But the reality is you think the ball would be more bouncy with him in the game.
Obviously, you loved being with him during those early years. And even though your time is filled, your heart isn't.
You're dreaming about him because you're thinking about him... even reaching out to him on Facebook.
Do you love him? If you do, go ahead and make the last ditch effort. Tell him now before it's too late and he's married.
If you're just wishing for the carefree days of the past or the grass that's on the other side of the fence - knock it off.
He'll stop appearing in your dreams at night the moment you stop dreaming about him in the day.
